In the age of social media and smartphones, the boundaries of fidelity are becoming increasingly blurred. While flirty Instagram comments or secret text messages may not involve physical intimacy, they can be similarly damaging to the trust that marriages are built on.
This new form of infidelity is called “microcheating,” and it has become a significant contributor to the breakdown of relationships in recent years. Courts are seeing a growing connection between microcheating and divorce. But is microcheating grounds for divorce, and how do New Jersey courts look at these behaviors?
What Is Microcheating?
Microcheating refers to subtle, seemingly innocent actions that cross the border into infidelity without involving physical cheating. These actions often involve secrecy, dishonesty, and behaviors that a spouse would likely consider disrespectful.
Some examples of microcheating include the following:
- Secretly messaging or texting someone with flirtatious undertones
- Saving someone’s number under a fake name
- Lying about relationship status online
- Casually using dating apps
- Complimenting someone excessively or suggestively via DM or text
- Hiding emotional closeness with someone outside the marriage
While the traditional idea of adultery involves a physical sexual relationship outside the marriage, these small actions can have the same effect. To many, they constitute betrayal and can break trust that may never be restored, which often leads to divorce.
Is Microcheating Grounds for Divorce?
New Jersey is a no-fault divorce state, which means neither spouse has to prove any wrongdoing to seek a divorce. Some spouses choose to pursue fault-based divorce, though. In those cases, adultery is considered grounds for divorce under New Jersey law. However, adultery generally requires a physical act of infidelity. So even in fault-based cases, the courts likely will not look at microcheating as grounds for divorce. Microcheating can be an important element in the pattern of behavior leading to the “irreconcilable differences” required in a no-fault divorce, though.
Microcheating can potentially impact divorce proceedings in more serious cases, particularly when it comes to:
- Child custody – If one parent is causing substantial emotional damage to the child, severely affecting the family dynamic, or creating an unhealthy environment through microcheating, it might impact the court’s determination.
- Alimony and property division – If the microcheating involved secretly using large amounts of marital assets, such as paying for dating apps or sending gifts, the court may consider that when determining alimony or property division.
The impact of microcheating on divorce will heavily depend on the unique circumstances of the case. Working with a New Jersey divorce attorney who understands the effects of microcheating on a case’s proceedings can guide you through this complicated new aspect of divorce so you can work towards a favorable outcome for you and your family.
What to Do If You Suspect Your Spouse Is Microcheating
If you suspect your spouse of microcheating, it can be a devastating experience. However, if you do not have hard evidence of the behavior, you need to take careful steps to confirm that your concerns are valid. A thoughtful, strategic approach can either save your marriage or safeguard your post-divorce future. Be sure to do the following:
- Do not confront too quickly. It is essential that you do not jump to conclusions, nor should you point any fingers before you have some real evidence. Approaching a potential microcheater without any solid proof may only give them the opportunity to deny everything and cover their tracks.
- Document patterns. Keep a record of questionable behavior. This could include times your spouse was overly secretive with their phone, deleted messages, or showed an unusual emotional attachment to someone else.
- Look for digital footprints. Many instances of microcheating occur on social media, and divorce cases frequently begin with the uncovering of this behavior. Look at social media activity and other electronic communications for excessive or inappropriate comments or messages, frequent likes on a particular person’s posts, saved conversations, and hidden apps.
- Contact a divorce attorney. If you find enough evidence of microcheating that you feel your marriage is at serious risk, contact a divorce attorney right away. This does not have to mean you are going through with a divorce. It just means you are seeking professional help for what might be a serious situation with significant implications for your future.
How Can a Divorce Lawyer Help You?
If you feel your marriage is being threatened by microcheating, an experienced divorce attorney can provide both legal guidance and emotional support as you work through this difficult situation. That is not all your attorney can offer, either. They can help by:
- Evaluating your case – Your attorney understands the relationship between microcheating and divorce. They can assess your case to determine what kind of impact the betrayal might have on the divorce proceedings.
- Advising you on your next steps – Seeking a divorce is an emotional and overwhelming experience for many. An experienced attorney can walk you through the process step-by-step and advise you on what the best course of action for you might be.
- Looking for evidence of adultery – If your partner has broken your trust by microcheating, there is a chance they have gone further with their infidelity. A divorce attorney can help investigate to determine if there is more serious unfaithful behavior that could affect your case.
- Protecting your interests – Your attorney prioritizes your best interests, whether that means preserving your marriage or seeking a favorable outcome in your divorce proceedings. They will fight to protect your rights and secure a bright future, however that looks for you.
Contact Joseph J. Russell Divorce & Family Law Attorney Today
The team at Joseph J. Russell Divorce & Family Law Attorney has over a century’s worth of combined experience helping clients work through complicated emotional and legal issues after being betrayed by their spouse. Over the years, we have earned a reputation for compassion, understanding, and tenacious advocacy. As one satisfied client wrote:
“Joe continually had a firm grasp on the pulse of my case. His insight as to how to proceed with each step was spot on, and proved to be invaluable to me and the settlement of my significantly complicated divorce case. Joe is honest, trust worthy, and demonstrated several times throughout my case his desire to NOT take a course that would have increased his fees-but rather the best course-even if it meant it would minimize legal costs. I would highly recommend his services to my family and friends.” – Gary M.
Whether it is microcheating, traditional adultery, or any other trust-breaking act, we are here to support you and guide you towards a better tomorrow. Take the next step toward resolving your case. Call (732) 726-6236 or complete our contact form for a confidential consultation.
